Transparency: My Addictions/Anxiety (& My Goals for the Summer) - chains!

What’s up everyone! How are you? I’m doing well… though I did mention addictions.. What are they? Well, let me do what the US government and the NSA pretend to do but actually BE transparent…..Well, I LOVE coffee and espresso (which I’m actually OK with) but I’m also addicted to smoking cigarettes. Vaping is helping with that… I want to get off cigarettes THIS SUMMER, and the ejuice and vaporizing is definitely helping (already)

I have a video I made about this, and after that, I have a bullet point presentation of my goals for the summer:


So… My goals for the summer? I explained in the video but here they are to look at, if you’re a fan of text. Who isn’t a fan of text? (people who can’t read, I suppose…. but I’m not writing this for them)…  Anywho…let me lay it out, in bullet-point format:

  • ERASE the cigarettes for me life (vaping is helping… from there, it’s cutting down on the nicotine in the vaporizer.


  • Lose a substantial amount of weight (I’m on a kettle-bell routine, as well as eating less, and eating out less.. So far, I THINK I’m doing OK, but I haven’t weighed myself in a minute, and I need to…


  • I want to learn to speak in public (which would obviously help me with self-confidence, too…)  Along with the self confidence, I want to learn to truly be the person I want to be (I suppose it’s somewhat of a Taoist idea, but I want to get passed the conditioning I’ve picked up in life. This goes along with the confidence – which goes along with learning how to speak in a group of people, which goes along with the Toast Masters thing, which is a “club,” (I think? I’ve never been there so I admit I have anxiety about it)… But I’m going to do it. I’ll readily admit, I suffer from anxiety and occasional depression. It’s difficult, but don’t feel bad for me, I’m not interested in ANY pity parties. None. It’s something I’m trying to handle on my own. Fuck, I even, have trouble driving with other people in the car. That’s how bad it is…. But I’m hoping I can get a bit more self confidence in myself this summer, and also, as I said, become my true self… (I’ll explain that last part down the page a bit..)


  • I want to earn much more money through online business SO THAT I CAN MOVE TO WASHINGTON STATE, as I want to (eventually) own a place there. Owning will not be a Summer-goal, just renting and exploring the area. I’m in love with Washington. It’s the West Coast, but it’s not California or Oregon, and I love the cloudy weather, the espresso on every corner of every city street (yes, I’m exaggerating…but not that much)… Anyway, I’ve been posting videos EVERY DAY, and I plan to keep doing that, and I want to travel to Washington and take lots of videos along the way. It’s a beautiful country (especially when you get to the Pacific Northwest out there on that West Coast – or “Wet Coast,” as some call it, on account of the wonderful rain).


So there they are.. my goals. I also plan to make music, which I’ll end up doing anyway, I’m sure.. I can’t keep away from that…btw…. ( .. hint hint..

I also mentioned, ‘Jersey house,’ or, ‘lean house,’ I believe the term is Jersey Lean? I’m not sure… but either way, it’s a different thing (in several respects) to, ‘acid-screw,’ a genre I invented, though credit where credit is due: they DID come up with their, ‘Jersey house,’ thing first, if I’m not mistaken. Anyway, that was sorta off topic… But I like going off topic for a second.. It’s my style… Making these videos is helping me develop my own style, which really goes along with developing my own identity… I might be a weirdo, but a specific kind of weirdo. I like it. I want to be an ambitious weirdo. 

Also, I didn’t mention it, but as far as the music goes, I DO want to put out at LEAST one album this summer. Hopefully.  I used to rap, and I’m interested in that, but we’ll see. It might just be some good beats and funky tunes. We’ll see, we’ll see.

As far as the ‘becoming who I really am,’ thing, I know I’ll instantly be branded a hippie by some… That’s actually far from the truth… BUT – I’d like to share an Alan Watts video, at very least, here. Feel free to watch it if you like, the man has A LOT to say:




Bottom line? I’m location independent but I DON’T WANT TO BE A PEASANT ANYMORE. I want to be financially free. Hopefully I can get closer to that goal… I know, we’re pawns  in one big game, but I want to get as free as I can… If can be location independent AND financially free, that (IN MY OPINION) I’m as close as I can get for now….


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